The Craziness of Three Girls and Lots of Chocolate
by Aileen Autarkeia
Summary: We were three normal girls... until we got email. Then we were invincible! Follow Elysia, Faith, and Aileen as they completely change the plot of two of our favorite series! Takes place after Fang and before Voyage of the Dawn Treader. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

First off, I am Aileen Emery Autarkeia! Welcome to the wonderful and wacky world of me and my two friends!

I will warn you, you will think we were on crack at parts of the story. It's absolutely insane.

Without further ado, let's begin!

Disclaimer: I'm not a guy, and, to quote Monty Python, I'm "not dead yet!"

Aileen: *sitting boredly in a tree, alone* I'm bored. I wish Faith and Elysia were here to keep me company.

Elysia: *poofs in* Hi Aileen! What's up? You look bored.

Aileen: Oh, nothing. I was just wishing that you and Faith would drop by and visit.

Faith: *appears from behind the branch next to Aileen, her hand held dramatically over her heart.* "I am so touched!"

Elysia: *blinks* So... are we just going to sit here and be bored together? Or are we actually going to do something?

Aileen: Well, I was thinking that... *pauses*

Faith: Uh oh. Aileen was thinking.

Aileen: Oh, hush! _Anyways..._

Elysia: Anyways?

Aileen: Good Lord! I was thinking that we could go exploring!

Elysia: Yay! That sounds like fun! Let's go! *jumping up and down*

Aileen: Hang on, I have to climb out of the tree first...

Elysia: Okay... hurry up!

Aileen: I am, I am! Gosh, Elysia.

Elysia: Sorry... I'm just excited...

Faith: Woohoo?

Aileen: Oh, don't be such a party pooper!

Faith: Why don't we go exploring in that haunted house right in front of us?

Aileen: What the heck? A haunted house?

*haunted house appears right in front of us*

Elysia: Woah... that was... wier-

Faith: SO COOL! *cuts Elysia off*

Aileen: That's awesome! Let's go!

Elysia: Actually, that was kinda creepy... *raises eyebrows*

Faith: *shrugs* No it wasn't. Let's go.

*everyone walk into haunted house*

Faith: Wow, gotta love the decor in this place.

Aileen: What are you talking about, it's ancient and covered in cobwebs!

Elysia: You're really wierd, you know that?

Faith: Yep! *proudly*

Elysia: *facepalm* *accidentally steps on creaky old board*

Aileen: *jumps* WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT?

Faith: Gosh, Aileen, it was just a board that Elysia stepped on.

Aileen: Don't scare me like that!

Elysia: Wow, you're worse than me, Aileen.

Aileen: Whatever... *rolls eyes*

Faith: And you JUST noticed that?

Elysia: Um...

Aileen: Whatever... enough about me, what's up with this place?

Faith: Oooh! I wonder if it's haunted!

Elysia: Creepy!

Aileen: *biting fingernails*

Faith: Oooo! A big scary looking hole in the ground! Let's explore it!

Elysia: Are you crazy?

Faith: *grin* Maybe...

Elysia: This was a bad idea

Aileen: *looks at hole with big scared eyes*

*something creaks*

Aileen: Good God Almighty! What was that?

Faith: Elysia stepped on something. *looks at Elysia* You... did step on something, right.

Elysia: Uh, no. I thought that was one of you.

Aileen: *snaps fingers and gun appears* *looks satisfied* That's better. *takes gun* Mmm hmm. An AK47. Wonderful.

*something else creaks, a lot closer*

All: *look at each other*

Faith: Quit trying to freak us out Elysia!

Elysia: I didn't do anything!

*All look horrified*

*more scary creaking noises*

Aileen: Darn. There are no bullets in this gun!

Elysia: *blinks*

*case of bullets appear on the floor*

Faith: How did that happen?

Elysia: *blink*

*case of bullets disappear*

Aileen: Darn!

Elysia: *blink*

*bullets appear again*

Faith: I got it! Don't blink, Elysia!

Elysia: I'm trying, I'm trying! *blink* Ooopsss...

Aileen: Elysia!

Faith: Elysia, can you blink up tape?

Elysia: I can try! *blinks*

*Tape appears*

Aileen: Sweet!

Faith: Quick tape her eyes open!

Elysia: Wha...?

Aileen: *grabs tape*

Elysia: Oh no... You are NOT doing that!

Aileen: Just hold still a moment!

Elysia: No! *backs away*

Aileen: Oh, fine, whatever. *flips tape in air* Well. *blinks and bullets appear*

Elysia: *blinks* *bullets... and Aileen disappear*

Faith: *practically screaming* WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

Aileen: Hey! not so loud!

Faith: AILEEN! Where are you?

Aileen: I'm still here! I'm just invisible!

Elysia and Faith: WHAT IN THE WORLD?

Aileen: Hey... this means that I can go and find out who is making that creaking noise!

Elysia: Oh no, you need to stay here.

Aileen: Whoever it is won't be able to see me!

Faith: Hey Elysia, can you make me invisible, too?

Elysia: No! I don't even know how I managed to do that in the first place!

Faith: Awwww...

Aileen: Well, gosh, Elysia, umm... how're you going to make me reappear?

*large crack and Aileen is visible again*

All: Woah!

Aileen: *examines hole calmly* This reminds me of one of my favorite books. They fall through the floor and end up in another world called Marus. Bible stories are mirrored in Marus. Hmm...

Elysia and Faith: Aileen, don't!

Aileen: *shrugs* We can try it, can't we?

Elysia: We are NOT going down there! At all!

Faith: *pouty face*

Elysia: No!

Faith: *puppy dog eyes*

Elysia: That's NOT working!

Elysia: You don't even know where that hole goes to! It could take us to middle earth or Narnia for all we know!

*pause*

Elysia: Wait a minute... that's not such a bad idea after all.

Aileen: Let's go then! We'll find out where we end up soon enough!

Elysia: Wait! What if that hole only leads to the basement? We could crack our skulls open!

Faith: Elysia, you are waaaay paranoid.

Elysia: And you guys are nuts!

Faith: WE ARE NOT NUTS! We're trailmix! We have vareity!

Aileen: *cracks up*

Elysia: What?

Faith: Inside joke.

Elysia: Again, I repeat, you guys are nuts!

Aileen and Faith: Trailmix!

Elysia: Fine! You guys are trailmix! Happy?

Faith: Acceptionally.

Aileen: Let's do this.

*all take hands and step forward, tightly closing their eyes*

Elysia: R-ready? *quivers nervously*

Faith: I, um, I think so...

Aileen: Nothing left to do but go forward...

*all step into blinding light*

*light slowly clears, revealling that they're in a forest*

Elysia: But-but this is impossible...

Faith: Where are we?

Aileen and Elysia: *look at each other* Narnia.


	2. Chapter 2

Faith: *blinks* What?

Elysia: Narnia! This is -

Aileen: The most wonderful thing ever!

Faith: Oh. Ok. So the big, scary looking hole wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Elysia: Don't rub it in.

Faith: Fine, I won't.

Aileen: What should we do now?

Elysia: Let's see if we can find the lamp-post! It should be somewhere close by.

Aileen: Well, let's ask that hedgehog over there where we are. *to hedgehog* Excuse me, sir. Do you happen to know who the King is? We're from... um... Archenland. Visiting relatives.

Hedgehog: Certainly, dear girl. King Caspian is about to set sail. You know, some of my own relatives told me that he's looking for three medium-experienced sailors. The castle is 5 days walk from here.

All: Oh.

Hedgehog: For me and my kin, that is.

All: Oh!

Elysia: Thank you, um... I don't know your name.

Hedgehog: Oh, don't worry. I'm Bushhunter.

Elysia: Thank you, Bushhunter. *Bushhunter trots off*

Faith: Well, I'll be...

Aileen: Looks like we know where to next.

All: The _Dawn Treader_.

Faith: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! This is so cool! Why couldn't I have landed in Twilight?  
>Elysia: Ahem!<br>Faith: Not that Twilight is cooler than this (well it is) but I have dreamt about it forever-  
>Elysia: Ahem!<br>Faith: Does this mean all story worlds are real? Harry Potter and Narnia and Maximum Ride and everything and it's so cool!  
>Elysia: AHEM!<br>Faith: And it's just-  
>Aileen: Cut it out! You are SO pulling a Nudge.<br>Elysia: Faith, it doesn't really matter what happened, we're gonna meet PRINCE CASPIAN for Christ's sake!

Aileen: If Narnia is real, then when we get back, we are SO trying to find Max and the Flock. Maybe, if we walk through the hole again, we'll get WINGS!

Elysia: That's the distant future. RIGHT NOW, we need to get to the Dawn Treader!

Faith: Y'know, Elysia, if we found ourselves here, and we don't know how, we should try to blink wings for ourselves.

Aileen: BRILLIANT! On the count of three... one... two... THREE!

*All blink and find they have wings*

Faith and Aileen: YES! It worked!

Aileen: Up, up and away!

*Aileen blinks again and wings stay put*

Faith: Huh?

Aileen: I thought _I wish I had wings until I didn't need them. _I guess it worked.

Elysia: Enough talking. To the Dawn Treader!

*all fly across Narnia*

Aileen: *points* Oh look! The sea!

Elysia: We're almost there! Is that the ship over there?

Faith: The one with the purple sail?

Elysia: That's it! I can't believe it!

Aileen: Well, you'd better believe it; cause we're almost there!

*they land on the beach*

Aileen: Oh, my gosh. It's spectacular!

Elysia: I know!

Faith: D'you think that we'd better ask for jobs?

Aileen: Probably. They might shoot us if we just showed up flying.

*all blink and wings disappear*

Elysia: I think that's... um... one of the sailors. *to sailor* Excuse me, sir. We're looking for work and we heard that His Majesty's ship is in need of some middling experienced sailors. Do you know where we can ask about it?

Sailor: Aye, little miss. I'm Rhince, of His Majesty's ship the Dawn Treader. Oh, and here comes His Majesty himself!

*Young man walks up*

Caspian (in the flesh!): Ah, good day, Rhince. Who are these three girls?

Rhince: Good day, Your Majesty. These girls were looking for work on the ship.

Caspian: I see. Well girls, how much experience do you three have on ships?

Aileen: *obviously excited* We have a fair amount, Your Majesty.

Elysia: And we're very fast learners.

Caspian: Alright then. What are your names?

Aileen: I'm Aileen, and these are my friends, Elysia and Faith.

Caspian: A pleasure to meet you, I'm sure. *pause* Well, if you're going to work on the ship, I suppose that you might want a little tour of it, first, correct?

Aileen, Elysia, and Faith: *look at each other*

Faith: Yes, we would like that very much, Your Majesty.

Faith *whispering to Elysia and Aileen* This is so cool... but you do remember what happened on the Dawn Treader, don't you? It won't be easy.

Elysia: *whispering* We wouldn't want to mess anything up, or change the story, but it looks like we might already have done too much.

Aileen: That's okay, maybe since we know everything that's going to happen, we can make the _"Voyage Of The Dawn Treader"_ a little easier. *in her regular voice*

*Caspian turns around, shocked and suspicious*

Caspian: What did you say? Did you just say you knew what was going to happen?

Aileen: *nods*

Elysia and Faith: Aileen!

Aileen: But it's the truth!

Elysia: But you didn't have to say that out loud!

Caspian: What is this supposed to mean? *a little upset*

Reepicheep: Excuse me, Your Majesty?

Caspian: *slightly frustrated* What is it, Reepicheep?

Reepicheep: Oh, I didn't know that you had company *indicating Elysia, Aileen, and Faith*, I can come back in a few minutes, if you would prefer that.

Caspian: No, it's alright. What is it?

Reepicheep: I was just asked by the captain to inform you that we would be ready to sail in half an hour.

Caspian: Thank you, Reep.

Reepicheep: *bowing* My pleasure, Sire.

Caspian: *motions for them to sit and sits too* Now. What do you mean by 'We can make the Voyage of the Dawn Treader a little easier'?

Aileen: *bows her head, a bit ashamed* I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I spoke without thinking. But we - all of us - know a bit of the voyage to come...

Elysia: Like in a few days, you'll see old friends, and a... um... new but not happy friend.

Faith: And you'll find the Lord Rhoop in a scary place, trying to escape.

Caspian: But how do you know my quest? *surprised*

Aileen: We know a couple things. But other parts are blank stretches, and then there'll be a spark of knowing what happens next. That's the way it is for me, at least. *turns to others* I don't know about you lasses, though.

Faith: That's fine. I guess you could say we know of all the major events... IDEA!

*Caspian jumps*

Aileen: It's alright, your majesty, she does that a lot.

Faith: Sorry, your majesty.

Caspian: Quite alright my dear.

Faith: Elysia! Do you happen to have your bag on you?

Elysia: Yes... why...?

Faith: Do you happen to be carrying a certain book...? I think the King might find it interesting...

Elysia: No. NO No NO No _NO!_

Aileen: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

*all look over to see Caspian leaning towards them with an engrossed look on his face*

Faith: Great! Then you have it!

Elysia: We are not going to have Caspian read _"Voyage of The Dawn Treader"_!


End file.
